In this episode:

• A world leading expert on attachment psychology gives us a masterclass in how relationships affect our brain
• A Harvard psychologist perspective on why mental health is so bad in our modern world
• We disclose the #1 thing that can affect your mental health
• The 5 attributes of giving secure attachment to others those we care about
• How to overcome conflict and ruptures in relationships through boundaries
• How we can become more mature in our ow=n emotional regulation
• An exploration of child development and the different relational maps as we grow up
• Top psychological traits of high performers and how to cultivate peak states
• Neuroscience insights into attention and how it relates to ADHD
• How parents can “wander out loud” about their kids to help them learn about their mind
• The subtle nuances of meditation to make sure it “works”

About Dr Daniel P Brown

Dr. Brown is an Associate Clinical Professor in Psychology at Harvard Medical School. He has served on the Harvard Medical School faculty for 37 years. He is the senior author of a major textbook on the treatment of attachment disorders in adults, D Brown & D Elliott, Attachment Disturbances in Adults. He has served as an expert witness in the courts in over two hundred lawsuits relating to psychological damages from trauma and abuse; His work as an expert witness or consultant on trauma and memory has included testimony before of International War Crimes Tribunal. He has studied under leading eastern meditation teachers (even meditation originators i.e. people who developed the actual practice itself) and has spent 46 years translating meditation texts from Tibetan and Sanskrit into English. He has the only scientific study identifying the neurocircuitry of the meditative experience of awakened mind. Dr. Brown’s background in both Western psychology and Eastern meditation traditions offers a unique integration of the contemporary Western research on peak performance and positive psychology and the classical Buddhist meditation lineage traditions.

Meet Liz, a Tax Partner at PWC in Texas who gets very real about her experiences with anxiety, clinical depression, medication and OCD. Liz was naturally good at everything she turned her hand to, including mastering the art of living an inauthentic life to please others. Her goal was to be seen and liked. And she was, but it was for the person she thought they wanted her to be, so she had to keep her “true” thoughts and compulsions hidden. She openly talks about her relationship with external validation and how it’s the strongest drug we can come across, as we permanently chase that high to feel loved more than anything else. True to form, Liz is now a leader in driving awareness of mental ill health, particularly in the corporate space.

Topics covered:

• The danger of masking our insecurities with relentless positivity
• Liz’s breakthrough moment of knowing how to combat her obsessive thoughts and impulsive behaviour
• How external validation is limitless and has no rock bottom

This is the link to the “demon duck of doom” that Liz mentioned at the end - https://cutt.ly/vlF6tQC

Liz’s blog - https://seriouslyjerkbrain.com/2020/01/08/beautiful-mind-jerky-brain/

Matt became paraplegic after severing his spine during an attempt to end his life. Months and years of physical and mental rehabilitation have seen him completely transform his mindset. Today, Matt is a motivational speaker and mindset coach, particularly influential among his generation, and is on an incredible comeback to walk again.

Topics covered:

• The existential curiosity he had at an early age, which saw him carve out a double life.
• How he has found purpose and meaning since attempting to take his life.
• His refusal to accept medical predictions that he’d never walk again.
• The mindfulness practices he utilizes every day to ensure his ongoing wellbeing.

Jake grew up with a single mum, and even as a child, he took on the role of “the man’ in the house. When his stepdad came along, things were ok for a while, but later Jake would have to endure the fear and anger of living with an unstable parent figure. Jake escaped to pursue his own life of travel and adventure and became qualified as a chef. Later, in his mid-twenties, when he was just starting to thrive in his new career as a personal trainer, a tragic motorcycle accident nearly claimed his life. Toward the end of his months of recovery, he was told he had throat cancer.

Mitch and Jake talk openly about how he survived through it all and how he is continually challenging himself to improve and pursue physical and mental health.

Topics covered:

• Feeling unsafe at home in a household where there is drugs and violence
• A sense of masculinity. How we grasp at it, lean into it and adapt to threats to it.
• Surviving a motorcycle accident, which left him in recovery for months
• Receiving a cancer diagnosis while still in rehabilitation from the accident

The music Jake mentions at the end is by @lukasmac and has been a guiding light for his recovery.

After constantly yearning for his father’s love, acceptance and approval, which never came, Sean had a longing to be seen and heard. He fought his way through a devastating revelation in childhood, and challenging teenage years to build a life worth living. Toward the end of this chat, Mitch and Sean share a deep connection and vulnerable exchange which enables Sean to open up even further and let the love in and the light shine even further out of him.

Topics covered:

• We already matter. “Success” doesn’t validate our humanity and value.
• Allocating our self-worth is an inside job.
• The humiliation of being unwanted by a parent and alienated by your family.
• How being homeless during his final year of high school drove Sean to imagine that “success” would help him escape poverty.
• No matter how polarized our demographics, anyone can show you life-changing kindness.