How to tell a partner you’re not ok

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Here's a guide on how to approach this conversation so you can remain connected whilst sharing your struggle.

  1. Find the right time and place: Choose a moment when both of you are relatively calm and have privacy. It's important to have an uninterrupted conversation where you can express yourself freely without any distractions.
  2. Be self-aware: Before talking to your partner, take some time to reflect on your feelings and thoughts. If you’re able to grasp some awareness of what’s been going on for you and why you're not feeling okay, you will be able to articulate your emotions more effectively.
  3. Express your feelings using "I" statements: Begin the conversation by using "I" statements to express your emotions. For example, say "I've been feeling really down lately" or "I'm struggling with work, and I wanted to talk to you about it." This approach avoids sounding accusatory or placing blame on your partner.
  4. Be specific and provide examples: If you can, communicate what is making you feel this way. Provide specific examples or situations that have contributed to your current state. This will help your partner understand the context and gain insight into your experience.
  5. Share your needs: Explain what kind of support or assistance you need from your partner. Whether it's simply having a listening ear, receiving emotional support, or discussing potential solutions, let them know how they can help you through this difficult time. If you’re not sure – that’s ok too. The main point here is to remain open and honest.
  6. Remain open: After sharing your feelings and needs, be open to your partner's response. Give them an opportunity to express their thoughts, concerns, and perspectives. Encourage your partner to ask questions and seek a deeper understanding of your feelings. This can foster empathy and help shift any potential stigma or confusion about what you’re experiencing.
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