Overcoming limiting beliefs / feeling like a burden
Overcoming the feeling of “being a burden” is one of the biggest challenges people face when deciding whether to speak-up and it remains the reason so many are still suffering in silence.
We don’t expect that by reading this blog and telling you that you’re not a burden, you’re going to miraculously be rid of that horrible feeling, but we are going to do our best to help you see it from a different angle. One that’s less fluffy and maybe more likely to help you start to shift that limiting belief, for good.
- Human beings are hardwired for service. Most people want to help others because it feels good. Yes, it’s kind of self-serving but it works that way for a reason. Diversifying our support can also be a really great way to reduce feeling like a burden because we don’t just have one person “doing it all”. Another way to look at this is it allows you to role model asking for and accepting help – and if you’ve got children, that’s a hugely important message to normalise because if they were ever in your position there is no chance you’d want them to go it alone.
- The fear is often around sucking up all the oxygen, energy, and resources from others because that’s what suffering feels like it takes from you. Accepting help doesn’t mean you have to share the same oxygen mask; however, it can often be misinterpreted as an all-or-nothing opportunity where we might feel like we can finally be hands-off in our own life. It’s totally understandable that you want a break, it can feel immensely comforting to receive support and to feel like somebody is “taking care of us”, but the only way we’ll get better is if we continue to commit to our own recovery. Accepting help is finding a way to share the load by continuing to do the work to get better so the support we’re given can be both impactful and sustainable.
- We can often feel indebted to people who support us through challenging times and this can sometimes prevent us from asking for or accepting help through fear of feeling pressure to get better. If it takes you 5 weeks or 5 months to begin to feel better, that is OK. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to recovery but one small way to mitigate feeling like you need to put on a brave face or report that you’re doing better than you actually are is to continue to share the wins, however silly they may feel to you. Our success can often be clouded by our current headspace so sharing them with your support system will allow you to both take joy in the progress you’re making. It can also help to provide markers of where you’re at on your journey so you can reflect back with more accuracy, for example, if 3 weeks ago you couldn’t get out of bed, but now you’re able to do one hour of work a day – that’s an immense step forward that you may not have been able to recall once the fog begins to lift.
If you want to get better and you’re still struggling to accept help for yourself, do it for them. For your partner, your child, your family. Whoever is keeping you going, we encourage you to borrow your reason until you can feel well enough to do it for yourself.