Over many years I’ve become great at masking the inner conflict especially in front of my children
I often feel like I have 2 different versions of my self living in my head. One filled with praise and cheering me on for all the I have accomplished, the other a negative black energy that consumes my thoughts as if trying to undo all the good I have done. It’s hard to know which voice is going to be with me day to day but I know which one I prefer. Over many years I’ve become great at masking the inner conflict especially in front of my children. Last year I was at my lowest point, I felt like I was not only drowning but sinking. My anxiety had completely taken over as I was trying to be perfect at EVERYTHING. I just couldn’t keep up with my own self pressures and my mind was consumed with dark thoughts and negative self talk. But over this past year I have made great shifts on my internal dialogue, that there is beauty in the imperfect and that self love is one of the most precious gifts you can give your self. It will always be a work in progress but even on the tough days I’m now able to find a way to shine a little beam of light through the dark clouds.