13. You Are Not a Burden

One of the most painful reasons people stay silent about their mental health — or even contemplate suicide — is the belief that they are a burden.
If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone.

But here’s the truth:
You are not a burden.

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🧬 We’re Hardwired to Help
Helping each other isn’t just something we do — it’s part of what makes us human.

We need connection to survive. From infancy to adulthood, our wellbeing is built on interdependence.

In fact, research shows that helping others improves the mental health of the helper.

So when someone shows up for you, they’re not doing it out of pity or obligation.
They’re doing it because they care — and it likely makes them feel better too.

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💡 How to Give Back While Receiving Support
Even if your emotional or mental capacity feels low, there are still ways to stay connected and contribute meaningfully to the people supporting you.

These small acts can remind you that you still have value — and that your relationships are reciprocal, not one-sided.

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Here are six ways to do that:

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1. Let People Help You
This might feel counterintuitive — but letting others help you is a form of giving.

When you allow someone to show up for you, you’re:

• Trusting them with your vulnerability
• Affirming their role in your life
• Giving them a chance to act on their care

That, in itself, is a gift.

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2. Stay Committed to Your Healing
If people are investing their time and energy into supporting you, honour that effort by staying committed to your wellbeing — even when it’s hard.

And if you can’t do it for yourself right now… do it for them.
Not from guilt, but from care.

Let their love become your reason to keep going — until you rediscover your own.

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3. Express Gratitude
Gratitude fuels connection.

A simple “thank you” can go a long way.

When someone shows up for you, try to:

• Acknowledge it
• Name what it meant to you
• Reciprocate in whatever way feels right

Whether it’s a message, a hug, a cup of coffee, or saying “I love you” when it matters — these small gestures refill their cup, just as they’ve helped fill yours.

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4. Celebrate Progress Together
If you’re making progress — no matter how small — share it.

You don’t need to be “cured” or totally better. But if you:

• Got out of bed
• Made it to an appointment
• Did something that felt impossible last week…

Let the people in your corner know.

Yes, it can feel scary — like you’ll let them down if things dip again.
But remember: there’s no timeline for healing, and your wins deserve to be honoured, not hidden.

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5. Offer What You Can
You don’t have to change the world to make a difference.

Even small gestures — like:

• Picking up groceries
• Babysitting for an hour
• Sending a kind message

— can show you care and want to give back.

It’s not about matching the support you receive. It’s about showing that you value the relationship and are doing what you can.

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6. Diversify Your Support Network
When one person becomes your sole support, it can unintentionally create pressure — for both of you.

Try to build a wider support system, even slowly:

• A few trusted friends
• A therapist or coach
• An online support group
• A peer support program

Having multiple “buckets” to draw from means that no one person carries everything, and you get a more balanced support experience.

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🧠 In Summary
You are not a burden.
Your pain doesn’t make you unlovable.
Your need for help doesn’t make you weak.
And your existence — even on the hardest days — matters.

Let others in.
Let yourself receive.
And when you're ready, give back in your own way, at your own pace.

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You’re doing better than you think.